Spring Break: Writing Retreat

 "Having a crush and vaping are the most fun things a human could do probably." - Claire Williams

Helllloooo readerzzz IT'S APRIL BITCH!

I'm back in Portland(ia) after my favorite holiday ever: spring break. Peak escapism from school, I get to go home and walk dogs (Luna, Spencer, Roxy, no particular order), sleep in my childhood bedroom and drink coffees. I wrote a lot of my thesis which was really good because I was having really bad writers block. Block is broken!!! I turned in my first draft this week it was a HEAEVY PACKET of me saying the same thing over and over. Now for the editing... alas let's talk about something fun. 

Luna!!! my princess

Dog walking fit yes yes

Charli xcx night at the Holocene was so much fun and it was the night before I left for home. My plan was to just stay up after partying and then get to the airport around 4 am for my 6 am flight... in fact I fell asleep immediately when I got home at 3 and woke up at 5:10... against all odds I made it to the airport at like 5:46 and made it to my gate at 5:53 and as I sprinted up to the gate they were like 'Katharine?' and I was like *out of breath and sweating* 'yes' and then she was like 'I'm going to rebook you to the next flight' and I was like 'ugh' but then I just chilled in the airport and had computer time. Fun fact about me is that the airport is one of my favorite places to hang out I just sit and scroll and walk around and wash my hands it's my perfect eneclosure. Sometimes at SFO when I was a kid there'd be some pigeons that would find their way into the airport and I'd watch on in horror as they used the waterfountain like a bird bath and be looking around like 'is anyone else seeing this shit??'

For the purpose of this exact blog post I actually looked up a bunch of variations of 'pigeons in sfo early 2000s how' because I swear on my life that I saw multiple birds multiple times just chilling inside the airport terminal but there's like nothing about it online and now I think I was either have super insane hallucinations or false memories or I created my own mandela effect situation. If you've ever seen birds that weren't supposed to be there in the aiport PLEASE comment to let me know I'm not alone.

So back to the topic of spring break, Spring Breakers is one of my favorite movies of all time. It was in my top 3 for years, which included, no particular order: Spring Breakers, American Honey, and Stick It. I mean obviously I was onllllly interested in the plots of these movies (read: young lesbian perv). I like to rewatch those 3 movies at least once a year, to keep me on track. In touch with my roots and whatnot. Part of my continual effort to stay true to meself. Now, as an older lesbian perv, my top 3 is Bottoms, Love Lies Bleeding, and American Honey (she persisted!!)

I just watched a youtube interview with Sasha Lane about American Honey and while I already knew that she was cast because the director saw her out and about and thought 'I need her' (which would also be my thought process verbatim), apparently she was on a beach during spring break when she was spotted. mind bllown life is so beautiful and interconnected SCREAM

You can watch for yourself if you'd like >.< <-- here 

When I go home for breaks I like to do my usual at home activities. I drove to the beach on a whim after dropping my mom off at the airport (same one that once had those maybe real maybe fake pigeon spottings), my favorite beach in Half Moon Bay. The one I can drive to with my eyes closed, no map, the one that's by my favorite sandwhich shop.

I got my sandwhich (turkey, sprouts, swiss, everything on it) and a bottle of coke drove it over and sat on a bench and squinted into the sun and the wind and listened to the waves and scowled at the ice plants (invasive species in Cali if you didn't know)

Blufftop coastal park

Soooo pretty I can't

I walked along the shore on the hard part of the sand and made up songs and sang them to myself and watched those little bird with legs as fast as lightning run up and down by the surf, I wanted to film an ASMR video on the beach but after filming one clip my phone died and I was FORCED against my WILL to live in the moment. UGHHHHH (just kidding it was fine and nice)

I left feeling windswept and rejuvenated and full of life and I drove back home along skyline, the winding road at the very top of the range of hills separating the bay from the sea. To my right I could see the pacific ocean in all her glory and to my left was the whole bay area spread out beneath me. I blasted Chappell Roan's album 'The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess' over and over and it was amazing.

That album is so important to me right now, it's upbeat and so gay and is my theme music at this time. She is my Olivia Rodrigo, don't know how else to describe it. 

Anyways, I hope you are having such a good spring, I hope you're awakening in whatever way makes sense, and getting soo so excited for summer!!!1!

Kiss kiss

Kate

Four Loko Summer

Here's the thing. I'm in the mood to reinvent myself. The season is changing, it was sunny for three days straight for the first time in like 5 months and the birds are chirping. My closet is finally back in working condition, after the Great Pipe Bursting back in January, I airbnb and couch hopped for like 5 weeks and then moved back into my room with an unfinished closet. All my clothes and dressers were stuffed into my room and it was ... garbage pit like, to say the least. So now my room is spacious and orderly again, and I realized my mysterious wet patch of carpet (don't ask) had been growing in my absence and so I jerry rigged a fan to my bookshelf and turned the dehumidifier on high and whaddayaknow, that cleared up in a couple days. Also, I am single now. It's a long story and sad but beautiful story and it's all peace and love and grief. Lol. I shant overshare cuz it makes me so upset and I'm leaning into letting myself feel sad... but it's awkward cuz letting yourself feel sad makes you FEEL SAD and I want to FEEL GOOD please god let me feel good. Please. 

But I am determined to actually feel things (good things ideally but beggars can't be choosers) for the rest of this semester, my last semester of college!!!! and be present and meditate and go for walks outside and talk to myself and wash my face every day. Basicallllly I have to get to know myself again. The last couple months I would book my days so busy I didn't have time to do anything important (like make meals or take a piss) and then whenever I had an uncomfortable thought or feeling I would just... scroll it away (thanks a lot, Instagram). I don't have insta right now and I feel like my brain is waking up again. It's been good. I am proud of myself.

Looking forward, however, I am getting really excited to be a loose cannon this summer. I was looking through some stories I had saved from two summers ago and found these striking flicks. 

In thee hot tub, we jumped the fence

Story draft, after a couple of four loko beverages, looking visibly ill and mischievious

Obviously, dear reader, you know that lime rita buzzballz is my potent liquor of choice, and I feel like those ballz are like the slightly more annoying sibling to the older, more suave but also extremely chaotic older brother, aka Four Loko. Their mom would probably be a Long Island mixed drink, and the dad would be like Jägermeister or something idk. 

While I think Four Loko is objectively nasty and the production and sale of it should be halted worldwide,
it is the spirit of the Four Loko that I hope to embody. Crazy, free, sweet, dangerous, etc.

Drinking Four Loko conveys a sense of lack of care for the self, in a fun and flirty way. Well now that I've written that out on the page I'm wondering hmmm is this a good idea because I really do want to care for myself. I actually am requiring myself to care for myself. But okay yes so now I am back on track; this spring is about caring for myself and working on myself, etc, but come summmmmerrrr anything is possible really. 

In the spirit of things that are kind of good and kind of bad for me, I got a Juul. You may be thinking, 'that's literally just bad for you' and while you're right in a scientific seense, I'M right in a symbolic sense, and I'm also right because it's my blog, dammit!

These days, I smoke my little juul, I scratch my scalp until it bleeds (I'm trying to stop but), I go for walks and I give myself challenges to complete. Because I'm not on instagram I want to feel a part of something still so I have invented self improvement challenges or trends I forecast for myself for the week. Last week I successfully completed the #threemealsadaychallenge and this week I'm continuing that good work and also introducing the #touchgrasseverydaychallenge which was easy when it was sunny out but the clouds are back so I have to work a little harder to self motivate to spend time outside. 

Tonight I am going to charli night at the holocene, they're going to play her music and music like hers. I am so so excited, I'm going with close baes and I'm wearing a fit completely curated from the clothing swap PSN did on campus last friday. It's gonna be my crazy tights, a SILVER puffer, and silver skirt. When I saw the puffer in all it's metallic glory, I screamed. I had literally brought my GOLDEN puffer with me to school that day so I wore them both at once and felt like Young Lean. I think this fit would be perfect for a base for my furlandia (furries in space) outfit, if I get some galaxy tights to go with it.

I NEED THESE SO BAD!!!!

And then I'll make a headpiece, probably gonna be a blue dragon to match my D&D character. Me and Edie want to make fur suits (or at least components of them for a partial suit) by hand and we're gonna document the process. It's gonna be awesome.

To conclude, I want it to be summer, I want to sip a four loko through a straw in my fursuit, and I NEED TO REMEMBER WHO TF I AMMMM!!!!!

I love you so much forever.

Kate

A sober possum is a social asset!

Have you heard of MEPearl? I think you should hear what she has to say...

Here is her website, you should look at it : https://mepearl.com/

In high school me, Abe, Zoe, and Prahalad crafted a really elaborate and long and weird comment for the Q & A life advice style column on the website. This is what we wrote, and what She responded with. We chose the name MAURICE for some reason. 

Reading this now, I am honestly so inspired still by what She said. She has so much wisdom. And responds really thoughtfully to each question. I bet it would make her day if we all left questions for her to ponder. 

She also has an insane and beautiful youtube chanel : https://www.youtube.com/@MEpearl

She posts so frequently it's inspiring (like it's Blog Post Wednesday everyday!!)

This is a good and funny compilation video of Ms. MEPearl the All Knowing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtLrn2zPTxQ

I aspire to have this kind of digital footprint in 40 yeaars.

Ciao bellas

K8